Apparently, I have trust issues. I wonder where that comes from. Honestly, I don’t know, but it’s something that I need to deal with. I don’t trust my wife to do things right. I don’t trust her to come through. I get angry with her when she does something stupid. She just informed me that her laptop is missing. She normally brings it home from school, but last night she didn’t, and now it’s missing. Students at her school are thieves. They’ve stolen her iPod in the past, and who knows what else? Now, she has lost all her important files, because she didn’t back them up like I recommended she do. It seems like my issues with trusting her to do the right thing are constantly confirmed by her actions. I don’t want to be this way. I am her husband. I do love her very much. I need to go to God with this problem. Now.
God, you know my problem. There’s no reason to expound upon it. I just need your help. I need your help to get to the root of why I can’t trust her. So what if she does something that messing things up because she doesn’t do it right or she doesn’t come through. I just need to trust her to do it and then just deal with it when it happens. But I can’t seem to let go. I want to control it. I have a problem and I need help. I know you can help me, that’s why I come to you. Bring to my attention the root of this problem and show me how I can let go. I love her, God. This is not good for our relationship for me to distrust.
As for the laptop, God, it’s just a stupid laptop, but she has so much important stuff on it. Please let it turn up, God. If we have to buy her a new one, then we have to buy her a new one, but she will lose all her important information on there.
Today’s writing time is hard, because I don’t want to write. I am preoccupied with this issue with my wife and her lost laptop. I want to just quit, but I don’t want this habit to break. Maybe today’s time just needs to be short. I’m done.